I got chris browned last night
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
