I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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