This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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