Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
