you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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