Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
