Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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