Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
How external is "for external use only"?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
