What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
