Having a random hookup so left but love u
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
can u get pink eye on your cock?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
