If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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