I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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