Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
