I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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