I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
