just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
