My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I pour the whiskey from now on
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