If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize