it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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