Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
