She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
