Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
