well I can't set my house on fire every night
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
