Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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