If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize