On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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