I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
