She announced her abortion via fbk
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
