Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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