I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
