i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
