saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
two words...techno handjob
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
