The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
