Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
