Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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