Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize