I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
