billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I have aggressive nipples.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize