Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
