your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Dicks are not precious.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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