Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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