Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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