Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
