I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
