I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
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