forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
