It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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