found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize