He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
