Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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