I just made out with a guy for $7.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
