that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
