it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
