The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
cat food counts as protein by the way
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
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