She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm always down for nudity.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
