You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
