Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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