just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
